Lonely

Its day one of Grant being gone and I am already  lonely :( Today has just been a horrible day entirely.

First he left around 4AM and the dog was going absolutely insane and driving me crazy! I was finally able to get back to sleep around 5:30 for a few hours. The dog finally settled down and went back to sleep and then woke me up by licking me around 9. I let him out and apparently he ate a shit ton of grass and decided to puke all over the carpet.

After cleaning that up he finally calmed down and let me relax a bit. I got to shower and then had to leave for work. After a long day at work all I wanted to do was relax but instead I came home to a disaster zone! He ripped through the entire house destroying the trashcan, spreading trash throughout the house, eating my favorite pair of moccasins, and then when I yelled at him...he cowered and peed everywhere!! I wanted to kill him ughh

So after a phone call with my mother and lots of tears over my shoes (RIP moccasins) and being lonely I am finally done being upset for the night.

Just a portion of the disaster!

Now I am panicking to find a crate for him while I am gone for the day or a gate that I can confine him to the kitchen. Of course he is a perfect angel (or close to it) up until the day that grant leaves and then all hell breaks loose!


I cant stay mad at him for long though...especially when he falls asleep like this..

All I can do is to think of this as a practice for when Grant gets deployed. It calms me and also scares me to death that this is me, being an independent woman but also being so dependent on my soldier. If I can get through the past training sessions, this month of SERE school, and the future deployments I know that I can literally handle anything that this world hands me. I honestly don't think this leg of training would bother me so much if communication was allowed. I am not even allowed to pretend like I am in the Dear John movie and write letters to my soldier...and the worst part about the whole thing is he is literally about 8 miles down the road from me somewhere out in the woods.

ah the life of the Army!